The introduction is the first sentence of your essay and it plays the dual role of setting the theme of your essay and engaging the reader. The introduction should not be overly formal. You do not want an admissions officer to start reading your essay and think, “here we go again.” Although admissions officers will try to give the entire essay a fair reading, they are only human — if you lose them after the first sentence, the rest of your essay will not get the attention it deserves.
General Tips
* Don’t Say Too Much. Just tell the story! Your introduction should not be so complex and so lengthy that it loses the reader before they even start. You have the rest of the essay to say what you want. There’s no need to pack it all into the first sentence. This leads to the next tip…
* Don’t Start Your Essay with a Summary. If you summarize, the admissions officer does not need to read the rest of your essay. You want to start your essay with something that makes the reader want to read until the very end. Once you have drawn the reader in through the first one to three sentences, the last sentence in your introductory paragraph should explain clearly and briefly what the point of the whole essay is. That is, why you are using this person, place, or thing. What does it say about you?
* Create Mystery or Intrigue in your Introduction. It is not necessary or recommended that your first sentence give away the subject matter. Read the rest of this entry »
Archive for category admission essay
Lesson Five: Introductions
Oct 29
Lesson Four: Word Choice
Oct 29
Don’t Thesaurusize. The second trap into which many students fall is thinking that big words make good essays. Advanced vocabulary is fine if it comes naturally to you, and when used correctly in an appropriate context. After reading thousands of essays, admissions officers know which students have come up with difficult words by themselves and which have looked them up in a thesaurus.
Show, don’t tell. Too often, an essay with an interesting story will fizzle into a series of statements that “tell” rather than “show” the qualities of the writer. Students wrongfully assume that the reader will not “get it” if they do not beat to death their main arguments. Thus, the essay succumbs to the usual clich?s: “the value of hard work and perseverance” or “learning to make a difference” or “not taking loved ones for granted” or “dreams coming true” or “learning from mistakes.” Such statements are acceptable if used minimally, as in topic sentences, but the best essays do not use them at all. Instead, allow the details of your story to make the statement for you. An example helps elucidate the difference:
In a mediocre essay: “I developed a new compassion for the disabled.”
In a better essay: “Whenever I had the chance to help the disabled, I did so happily.”
In an essay: “The next time Mrs. Cooper asked me to help her across the street, I smiled and immediately took her arm.”
The first example provides no detail, the second example is still only hypothetical, but the final example evokes a vivid image of something that actually happened, thus placing the reader in the experience of the applicant. Read the rest of this entry »
Below you will find a sample outline and the essay written from that outline.
OUTLINE
Paragraph 1 (Introduction)
I. Leading sentence: “It took me eighteen years to realize what an extraordinary influence my mother has been on my life.”
II. Summary of main points: “I not only came to love the excitement of learning simply for the sake of knowing something new, but I also came to understand the idea of giving back to the community in exchange for a new sense of life, love, and spirit.”
Paragraph 2 (First Supporting Point)
I. Transition sentence: “My mother’s enthusiasm for learning is most apparent in travel.”
II. Supporting point: Her mother’s enthusiasm for learning.
III. Evidence: Learning through travel by using the example of a trip to Greece.
Paragraph 3 (Second Supporting Point)
I. Read the rest of this entry »
Critical essay begins with the analysis of the reading which includes a summary of the author’s point of view and an evaluation of the author’s work. The former is comprised of the following points: a brief statement of the main idea, an outline of the important facts used by the author to support the main idea, a summary of the author’s implied values, and a presentation of the author’s suggestions for action or conclusions. The evaluation of the author’s work consists of an assessment of the facts indicated on the basis of relevance and correctness, an evaluation of judgment of logical consistency of the argument, and an appraisal of the author’s values.
While working on your paper consider the following:
- paper is informative which means it emphasizes the work studied rather than opinions and feelings of the writer;
- criticism doesn’t imply you have to attack the author or his work, it means you should assess his written work be it book, article, etc;
- paper must employ an objective and serious tone;
- be specific concerning the points you’re making about the play, novel or poem;
- support your claim with evidence. Read the rest of this entry »